my boobs hurt
Imagine being pregnant in new york
and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when
"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"
okay except this is literally the plot of an episode of 30 Rock
Laverne Cox on her brother being cast on Orange is the New Black
if u think i only followed u because ur hot u r absolutely right
so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.
i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy
i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere
i’m pissing myself
next up on having a vagina: are these cramps or should i tell my mom to take me to the hospital
Yeah that happened to me in 2012 and it turns out I have 2 uteruses.
whAT THE FUCK
My girlfriend is going to be an elementary school teacher. This is her handwriting.
This made me cry so hard because I haven’t seen the cursive alphabet in so long they’ve stopped teaching it where I live
I fucking failed the cursive unit when I was in elementary holy fuck
Watch the Queen of England age through bank notes.